To be myself
Sometimes I’m not even sure what that means
I’m still finding her
So many things I don’t know about myself yet
I never thought I’d be here
I thought my life would always be about ED
Now it’s so much more
I feel happy
I feel excited about life
I feel strong
I feel loved
I feel Blessed
A thanks for the blessings to eat. Learning that food can be your friend and not your enemy. Food is to survive, to starve is the worst feeling once you re wire your brain and learn to eat well and happily. To have energy, that pounding head ache subsides, exercising with joy instead of exhaustion. Loving others instead of annoyance. Being healthy and happy, feeling good, feeling strong. It may be the hardest lesson learned, but worth it when you come out on the other side.
ED lies. Feeling shackled in all the suffocation. The worry presented is enough to drive you insane. The fear of never being good enough. You can’t eat this, you can only eat that. If you eat this you will get fat.
The unrealistic feelings that fat grows on your stomach the moment you put that food in to your mouth. The uncontrollable urge it brings, you have starved yourself for days and you just cant take it anymore. You indulge on everything. Failing and feeling guilty you get rid of all of it and the cycle starts over.